Feeling Picture

Feelings: Do Our Feelings Always Reflect Reality?

In Relationships, Success by winterveeLeave a Comment

Feeling Picture

If one was to watch a film that had no colour or sound, it is not going to be the same as a film that has colour and sound. It is unlikely to be as engaging or as entertaining, and one might soon lose interest and turn it off or walk away from what they’re watching.

And the same could be said about the impact that feelings have on one’s life. If one was unable to feel, their life would feel empty and without meaning. Through having the ability to feel, life is brought to life and given meaning.

Feelings are to one’s life what colour and sound is to a film; a film wouldn’t be the same without colour and sound and one’s life wouldn’t be the same without feelings. This is not to say that one always likes what they see or what they hear, just as one is not always going like how they feel.

Good And Bad

There are going to be times when one feels good and times when they feel bad. And if one was asked if they would like to feel good all the time, they might end up saying yes. They might believe that their life would be better if they could only feel good all the time.

Then there are going to be other people who realise that all feelings have a purpose. If one always felt good, it would soon lose its meaning; it is through having the ability to feel bad that one is able to appreciate feeling good.


One’s life will not always go to plan and there are going to be times when one needs to face reality head on. And this could be mildly painful or it could be extremely painful, but the sooner one faces what is taking place, the sooner their life can change.

Here, one is not going to feel good, but as a result of how they feel, one is able to become aware of what needs to change. The alternative would be for one to deny how they feel, and to pretend that everything is fine.

Short-Term Solution

In the short-term, one is going to feel better but as time passes, what they are denying could end up becoming far worse. The feelings that are there to inform them that something is wrong are not being given the chance to be heard.

And this is one thing that can happen when one has the need to always feel good and the inability to face their so-called ‘negative emotions’. If one was simply comparing them with emotions that make them feel good, then they would be negative, but if they saw them as feedback they might have a different outlook.

Caught Up

So while one approach would be for one to avoid their feelings, another approach would be for one to end up being consumed by them. Even though they are not avoiding them, it doesn’t mean they will be able to listen to them.

Instead, one could end up being caught up in them and unable to use them to their advantage. It is then not possible for one to use their feelings as information, as their feelings are causing them to feel paralysed.

The Ideal

To ignore them or to become consumed by them is not the ideal approach; what one needs to do is to be able to be aware of how they feel and to take the appropriate action. This will give one the ability to use their feelings as feedback, as opposed to trying to control how they feel or allowing their feelings to control them.

While ones feelings might reflect reality and give them the insight they need, they might not have anything to do with reality. But due to how powerful feelings are, it is easy for one to see them as a reflection of reality.

A Closer Look

So one could feel guilty and end up believing they have done something wrong, they might feel ashamed and believe that they’re bad, they could feel abandoned and end up believing that they’re alone or they could feel powerless and then come to believe that they have no control over their life.

When these or other feelings arise, there may be something taking peace externally that matches how they feel or there might not be. But just because there is something taking place externally, it doesn’t mean that one’s feelings are connected.


There is the chance that these feelings have nothing to do with what is taking place and are simply being triggered from within. They might relate to an experience or a number of experiences that took place many years ago, but while what happened is in the past, the emotional experiences have remained trapped in one’s body.

What is taking place externally and how they are thinking is then bringing these feelings to the surface. If one is able to remember where these feelings came from they might be able to see what is taking place.


These feelings could be due to what has happened during their adult years and their childhood years. One will need to release these trapped emotions and this can be done with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include “A Dialogue With The Heart” and “Communication Made Easy.”

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